Blue Christmas
by Zepphyra.Snow.Storm
Summary: A companion fic to Rules of the Game (slash, RenBya), based five years in the past. It's finally winter break. Rangiku's birthday has come and gone, and since Gin couldn't spend it with her, he wants to give her something very special. But they soon find out that their romance isn't exactly a bed of roses. But then, Gin already knew that. Perhaps you could try reading this alone...


_**Diclaimer: Bleach is owned by Tite Kubo and a bunch of corporate old**_**_ farts._**

**_Warnings: AU: Modern Japan: yakuza; lime; moderate gore; alcohol abuse  
_**

**Okay so, if you don't mind not knowing what's really going on, you could read this alone, without reading the other 2 fics that go with it. If you want the full effect of the actual story, I would suggest going to my profile, and first reading "You Don't Believe in Ghosts?" and then the ongoing sequel, "Rules of the Game". These two fics contain slash pairings, the main one being RenBya and the other being GrimmUlqui.**

**This GinRan fic takes place approximately 5 years in the past (in regards to the 2 main RenBya fics mentioned above), so Rangiku has just turned 16 (as this fic will mention), and Gin is 18. The characters are a bit (or a lot) OOC, but they're just human kids here. In the actual fics, they're more grown up, and thus more in-character. But I like making Gin a bit OOC since I like making him seem a bit more human when it's just himself and Rangiku, since they have a history.**

**Another couple points: you might not be able to see Gin smoking, but it's an AU, and it's modern Japan. Most people in Japan smoke. LASTLY, I place people into gangs, not randomly, but... well, you'd have to see. It would make sense if I explained it to you, but if I explained it to you, I'd be giving the main story away :P**

*****Please take a look at my profile! On there I post all of my stories/side projects, including up and coming ones, and you can see where I am in terms of working on them! Check out my other stories! I have written for Bleach, Naruto and Hetalia. I have published 7 fics, 5 of which are complete. I am currently writing 2 Naruto fanfictions (one of which the is a sequel, the 1st chapter has not been posted yet), a Bleach fic (the main one mentioned above, _Rules of the Game_) and a Hetalia fic (to which I haven't posted the first chapter yet). I am also a Betareader! So! Please check out my profile!***  
**

**Merry Christmas and enjoy~! (If you don't celebrate Christmas, then happy holidays)**

**Enjoy!**

**x~Snow~Storm~x**

* * *

Gin glanced down at his phone, sighing in anticipation. _Just fifteen more minutes…_

Yesterday had been Rangiku's sixteenth birthday, but he hadn't been able to see her except at school. That was okay, though, because she had been spending time with with her family. She_ should_ be able to spend time with her family, especially on her birthday. That was how he reasoned. From what Gin knew, Rangiku hardly ever saw either of her parents, and her older brother was always away at university. But Gin was only human. All of these reasons as to why Rangiku should be spending time with her family, instead of her boyfriend of a little over a year, still didn't give Gin a good enough reason to be selfless with her.

Finally, the bell rang, and everyone rushed out of class into the hallways. Shoving his way through the mob, Gin was somehow able to reach his locker before exiting the building. A sly grin snaked its way onto his face. Finally, they were on winter break.

Outside, the chilly air bit at his cheeks, and he pulled his soft wool scarf closer to him. It was striped with the Quincy colors: navy and white. He loved seeing Seireitei at school when he wore this sort of apparel, because all the opposing side could do was glare him to death. As a rule, neither side was allowed to start anything on school grounds. The higher ups appreciated education.

Ignoring flirtatious glances thrown by a passing group of girls, Gin decided that the best place to wait for Rangiku was probably by the gates of the school. He took up post there, leaning against the stone wall which surrounded the campus. He debated for a moment on pulling out his iPod, but he decided against it since she'd probably be there any second. Gin leaned his head back against the cold stone and closed his eyes. Right now, he didn't have a care in the world. Sure, he had an assignment that night. Sure, things might get a little bit nasty. But right now, he was going to see Rangiku. _His_ Rangiku…

As if on cue, Rangiku's voice called out to him over the sounds of the crowd. "Gin!"

Gin casually opened one eye and tilted his head towards her voice. The ghost of a smile graced his lips. She was smiling widely and was racing over to him. _Really, _Gin resisted the urge to shake his head. _She shouldn't be runnin' in a low cut dress like that… Stupid girl. Ain't she cold?_ Rangiku laughed happily, throwing her arms around Gin and pecking his nose. Resting his hands on her hips, he drew Rangiku in even closer, sighing as he buried his face into her long, ginger hair. It was so soft and warm, and it smelled like strawberries. His cheek brushed against something soft, and he lazily opened one of his eyes to investigate.

"Did ya get this fer yer birthday?" he asked, stroking a long black scarf around her neck.

"Yeah!" she responded happily.

Gin gave a low sort of chuckle, smiling softly at her excitement. "Looks nice on ya."

Rangiku positively beamed, her cheeks already turning a soft pink from the nipping wind. "Thanks."

Gin grabbed her hand. "C'mon. Let's go to the coffee shop, 'kay? It's freezin'!"

"Yeah. Besides," Rangiku looked up at Gin coyly as they began walking. "You owe me a present."

Gin rolled his eyes good naturedly. "Yeah, yeah, I got yer present. And I'm buyin' ya coffee an' a snack, to boot. So thank me properly, 'kay?" Gin suddenly stopped walking, and swept Rangiku up into a deep kiss that left her looking a bit dazed.

Gin smiled. His left hand still held Rangiku's soft, gloved hand, but his right hand was nervously pawing the box in his pocket. He had chosen with care, after much deliberation, and after browsing many stores. He had even returned to one or two a couple of times to compare their products. He hoped, and even prayed to whatever god was listening, that she would love it.

"Would ya… er, like yer gift now?" Gin asked, clearing his throat awkwardly.

Rangiku giggled, making Gin feel even more awkward about all of this. "I would."

"Well, alrighty, then… Here."

They stopped just outside of the coffee shop. It was freezing cold, but, nervous as he was, Gin was warm. The music blared outside of the shop; some sort of Elvis song, about a blue Christmas or something. Gin didn't really pay attention. He took the red velvet box out of his pocket. Rangiku gasped. She didn't have to look inside to know it was expensive. He handed it to her. With trembling fingers, Rangiku slid the lid off the box, and her eyes immediately lit up.

"Ya want me to put it on ya?" Gin asked softly.

Rangiku slowly nodded, taking off her scarf. Gin took the long, white gold necklace out of the box and, with nimble fingers, latched it behind her neck. He gently pulled her long hair back from her face, and wrapped his arms around her waist. His heart pounded as he awaited the verdict. She gazed at her reflection in the café window, lips slightly parted. Gin wanted to kiss her again.

"It's… so beautiful." She turned around in his arms and kissed him gently.

When she pulled away, she brushed a few stray locks of hair away from her face. Gin froze.

Rangiku raised a manicured eyebrow. "What is it?"

_Act normal… Maybe I'm just over thinkin' things…_ Gin stuck his tongue out at her. "I'm fine. But…" he grabbed Rangiku's hand. Her glove was… interesting. It looked homemade—fingerless, and black and white striped. "Where did ya get these gloves, babe?"

"Huh?" Rangiku looked surprised. "Uh… Well, I got it for my birthday… My big brother got these for me. But I don't know where he got them, so…"

Gin sighed in relief. Maybe he could relax about this little coincidence…

"Although…" Rangiku asked, pulling away a bit further. "I guess you asking about my gloves means the rumors are true?" she was acting… serious, which was not the norm for his Rangiku. "Your scarf, I mean. It's… representative of your… gang colors."

Gin shrugged, now on guard. "Maybe. Yeah."

"Why didn't you ever tell me you were involved in that kind of thing?" Rangiku inquired softly, but her voice shook with fury. "Couldn't I be trusted? Whenever you come over late at night, I _know _something is going on! You look like you've just showered, but you reek of blood… You're always so silent and so cold. I always feel as though you come and go from my arms as you please, and even though you're always with me it just feels like you're slipping through my fingers! I never knew what to do, and it constantly felt like I was on the verge of loosing you... I guess now I know why... But—"

Gin closed his eyes and sighed. "Why're ya pushin' this? I'm afraid to hear what yer tryna get at." Perhaps this wasn't a coincidence, after all.

"Gin…" Rangiku looked away. "Tell me. Tell me honestly, do you love me? Because when I say I love you, I'm saying I would throw myself in front of a bullet for you. Do you love me?"

"Ran..." He was starting to sweat.

"Just tell me!" Rangiku cried. She was crying. There were no tears, but Gin could see it. Gin could always tell when she was crying. "Just a yes, or a no. It's simple."

Gin stood there silently. His mind was racing a mile a minute, and he was becoming increasingly agitated. He mulled over every possible situation in his mind, and they all ended with him losing Rangiku.

_... Well then, so be it._

He took her gloved hand and connected it with his scarf. "This is why yer askin', right?" He dropped her hand and looked away. "Ran… when things're like this, it's impossible."

"Wait. We don't have to—"

"It's impossible, Rangiku." Gin ground out. Ranginku flinched, making him regret his tone. But he couldn't stop now. He had to scare her off, get rid of her foolish fantasy that they could still be together even though they were in this oddly Shakespeare-esque situation. "Rangiku," he began softly. "Yer a Seireitei member, and, with ya bein' weaker'an me an' all, I have an obligation to take ya out where ya stand..." Rangiku gasped. "Even though technically I couldn't cuz then people would see 'n then I'd be a fugitive and ya know... More trouble than it'd be worth." However," Gin closed his eyes, and, after a shaky breath, turned around. He felt as though his heart would be squeezed out of his chest. "I can't see ya right now. So I suggest that ya run on home, and never leave yer house again without some sorta weapon on ya. Yer still listenin', right? People will be attackin' ya now outta no where cuz they know yer Seireitei. And don't ya dare, Matsumoto Rangiku, _don't you dare_ ever let a guy lay a hand on ya by force. Ya got me?"

Gin opened his eyes in surprise as Rangiku's thin arms wound around his waist. She rested her cheek against his shoulder blade and let out a sigh.

"If you ever need somewhere to go… When you can't wash the smell of blood out of your skin, and when alcohol isn't enough to drown out the screams… you know where to come." She tightened her arms around him, and then, the warmth at Gins back disappeared as though it had never been there at all, leaving him alone and shivering in the cold.

* * *

_.x.x.x.x._

* * *

Gin buried his head into his pale hands, muffling a groan. _This is… the… fifth? Sixth? Or has there been more…? I don't remember…_ He glanced over his shoulder, his sharp eyes stabbing through the darkness into the soft, white skin which lay among sheets nearly the same color. She was beautiful, with her rose colored lips parted in sleep, and her long mocha colored hair covering her body in soft waves and ripples. Really, Gin could get any girl he wanted. If he truly wanted a whore to turn honest for him, she would. He had the power, and he knew it.

But Gin didn't care. He didn't care about any of these harlots that would so readily open their legs for him with a sensual smile and a coy tilt of the head. He got up, trying to make as little noise as possible, and began picking up his clothes. He dressed quickly and left in a hurry. _I should probably try and figure out where the hell I am…_

The snow fell softly around him, and it was very cold. He figured that the sun was only just beginning to rise as he boarded the subway line to take him back to his neighborhood. Gin couldn't get Rangiku out of his mind. He felt as though he had been starving, but death wasn't kind enough to come for him. _I'm hopeless…_

Unfortunately, he had to snap back to reality as soon as he was above ground. Some kids, obviously from Seireitei, were eating breakfast outside of a café, talking and laughing as if they hadn't a care in the world. Snow covered all of the tables, except for the two that they ate at, and a somehow familiar tune—by Elvis, Gin remembered—was blaring over the speaker and shattering the silence of the morning. It flipped Gin's mood from melancholy to infuriated. Without wondering why they were even outside in this weather, Gin started taking his frustrations out on them.

"Oi! Early morning Christmas shopping?" Gin pasted on the fake grin that he had taken to using, but he let his menacing intent creep into it, ever so slightly.

"Gin!" The man with the blue hair—_what was his name?_—growled.

"Grimmjow…" Another man—Renji was his name—placed his hand on the other's shoulder. _Oh yeah, Grimmjow's his name. Weird._

Gin swaggered over, thrusting his hands into his coat pockets, feigning casualness. Two of his slender fingers stroked a butterfly knife.

"Hey blueberry," Gin mocked, "Got a bone to pick with me? Ya don't seem to like that I'm gracin' ya with my presence." Gin flashed a wicked smile. "Or, maybe yer just not a mornin' person?"

Grimmjow snarled, leaping over the table with a switchblade in hand. Gin ripped his knife out, flinging it open and stepping forward, ready to thrust it at his agitated opponent. He was out for blood. But unexpectedly, Grimmjow was restrained by Renji and another man. This other man had previously been seated at another table nearby. He was slender, and had wild white hair, not unlike Gin's, only longer.

He turned his icy gaze onto Gin, and Gin shivered. "Hitsugaya!" Gin's voice dripped so with honey that this man, Hitsugaya, actually shivered in disgust.

"Put it away, Ichimaru." He commanded tonelessly.

"And if I don't?"

"Then Rangiku here gets to see just what a merciless and bloodthirsty killer you really are."

Gin couldn't stop the gasp that stole through his lips as the woman herself slowly stood up._ Think, Gin, think, damn it! There's always a solution…_

Gin smiled horrifyingly sweetly. With a relaxed air, his eyes raked shamelessly over Rangiku. "Nah. I wouldn't do anythin'. I mean, what if I never got the chance to fuck'er cuz of that? Now wouldn't that be sad?" His eyes bore into Rangiku's. "I mean, I've already done just about every other pretty girl in town by now." Which was a total lie, but she didn't know that.

"You stay away from our women!" Grimmjow roared.

Gin grinned widely. "I just did one of 'em last night. Boy, was she a beauty!" And that was actually true, he had recognized that woman as being Seireitei.

For one brief moment, Rangiku's face was contorted in pain. But so brief was it that had Gin blinked, he would have missed it. "Hey, Renji, can you come with me to get some more coffee?"

"Huh? Oh, sure…"

Gin watched her go. As he turned to leave, he felt two sharp pairs of eyes bore into his back like poisoned daggers. He'd be lucky if he could leave peacefully. He'd be lucky if one of them didn't pull a gun on him. He truly hated himself. This was the second time that he and the woman he loved had parted ways as enemies.

* * *

_.x.x.x.x._

* * *

Honestly, Gin just wanted to die. He was sitting at the bar with his head resting on his arms, wishing it would all just go away.

"What happened to our famous lady killer, huh?"

"Yeah, what happened?"

"Can't get it up?"

"Or… wait. Did you turn gay!?"

"Oh, yeah! Hey! Maybe he can only get it up fer men, now!"

"Hey, guys… I got an idea…"

Suddenly, Gin was roughly grabbed by the shoulder and thrown onto the floor where he was pinned by two large men. _Oh, I am _not_ in the mood fer this fuckery today…_

"What's the matter? Ya do it with everyone else, so why don't ya try it with us? Such a pretty one like you—"

The man was cut off by Gin head butting him.

"Aurghhh! I think I bit my tongue! You—"

But the head butt had caused the man to let go of Gin's arms. Gin sent him flying with a right hook, and he casually sat up, sending the man holding his legs a meaningful look.

"We'll be having none of this." A new voice joined the melee, and everything suddenly became deadly silent.

"Aizen… sir!" Someone said.

Gin looked up indifferently at the man looming over him. He grinned as though he were actually happy to see the guy. "Yo, Aizen!"

Aizen smacked him upside the head. "Don't 'Yo!' me." The formidable man by the name of Aizen lowered his voice slightly. "What exactly is this I hear about you being gay?"

Gin raised an eyebrow. "That's what they were sayin'… They're obviously of the opinion that I'm a sex-driven animal and I'll fuck anythin' that moves..."

Aizen snorted. "Well… Just so everyone in this room knows, Boss has the rule that if you turn gay, you die. Carry on." Aizen crouched down to be on eye level with Gin. "You're a good guy. We don't want to lose you at this stage. You're rising in the ranks very quickly, and are even becoming a threat to some of us higher-ups. Don't ruin it by making people assume you're gay… Either have sex every so often with a random girl or go steady with one. I don't care, no one here does. But if you're not having sex, people will assume you're either a prude—or, in your case, have actually developed morals—or you're gay and want to keep the sex a secret. Do as I say so we don't have to kill you." _So in other words, _Gin thought irately, _they'll just jump to the conclusion I'm gay. _Aizen smiled, and casually, as though nothing had ever happened, he went to the bar and ordered a beer.

Gin narrowed his eyes. _This asshole… _Mimicking Aizen, Gin nonchalantly stood and walked back up to the bar. He decided that he had cash, and he needed to be drunk.

"Gimme a Suffering Bastard**[1]**; hold everythin' but the alcohol."

* * *

_.x.x.x.x._

* * *

The shrieking of a girl made the sleeping Gin jump three feet in the air. Tangled in the sheets, he fell onto the floor in a startled, wide-awake mess.

"Oh my God! What the fuck!? Who the hell are you!?" The girl screamed, holding the sheets up to her chest. "Get out! Get out of my house! Pervert! Rapist! Oh my God! Help! Help me! Help!"

At first he was a bit dazed. This had never happened before… Then she started yelling for help. Gin was up then, struggling with his underwear and—where the hell were his pants? _Oh, they're probably under the bed…_ With his pants on, he raced out of the apartment with the rest of his clothes in his arms. _That dumb broad's still screamin'…_

It was very cold. It was still dark out, and, looking at one of the clocks he passed, he guessed that no trains would be running at this hour. The wind blew hard, tousling his mess of snowy hair. He shivered and zipped his coat up, putting up the hood for extra warmth. He decided it would be best if he kept moving. Or else he would become weak from the cold…

"Sir?" a voice called.

_Probably some hooker… Just keep movin'._

"Sir, please!"

_Somethin' about that voice…_

Keeping his hood tight around his face, he turned around slightly.

_Ran…_

Her face was drawn with pain. Gin's eyes were drawn to the blood stain on her jacket. She looked weak, like she might pass out any moment. He held himself in check. His instinct was to run to her. But he couldn't.

"Sir…" she said again. "You have… to get out of here…" _What? _"This is a war zone, right now, sir… and you're in the middle of it."

If he was in a "war zone", as Rangiku had so aptly put it, then he would have to take the side of the Quincy. If he had to take his own side, then he would have to kill the woman he loved on the spot.

He couldn't do it.

Just then, the wind blew his hood back, and Rangiku's eyes widened in shock.

"Shit—!"

Gin ran before she could react. Bullets flew past him as he dove behind a dumpster. He had to figure out where the nearest source of ammo was. After all, he'd die if he tried to bring a knife into a gunfight. Another bullet pinged off of the dumpster, but he stayed where he was.

_Why was she here? _He just wanted to yank her by the collar and scream in her face. _Why couldn't she just stay on the sidelines? Why is she here?!_

Something dropped softly onto his shoulder. _Gravel? No… Cement._Gin looked up. Something on the roof of the building that he was leaning against was incredibly shiny… Quickly, and very quietly, he scaled the fire escape. The rusty metal didn't even creak under his weight. The higher he went, the more vulnerable he became, and so it was best to get this over with as quickly as possible. He grabbed the muzzle of the rifle in an iron grip.

"Hu—ahh!"

Lucky him, it wasn't a Quincy. Knocking the guy out was the easy part. The hard part—now that he had been noticed (what with his bright white hair against the night sky and all)—was loading another magazine into the rifle and stealing the two handguns along with some ammo from the guy's stuff. The best part was that he had to do it _all_ flat on his stomach while praying a bullet didn't hit him.

But really, there was no way he could avoid it any longer. Throwing himself into the line of fire, he jumped off the roof of the two story building, firing the handguns at random. He hit the dirt, landing with a tuck and roll, continuously firing off the guns. People fell before him left and right. He felt powerful. This was how it should be. He slung the rifle to the front of his body and began aiming for the people that were hiding. He knew where they all were now. He grinned smugly. They knew they couldn't hide from the White Viper.

"YOU BASTARD!"

_Huh?_ A flurry of bullets flew past him suddenly. One grazed his arm. Gin smirked. It was them—the Demon Trio. They were nothing but grunts, just a couple months older than Rangiku, but…

The kid with the bleached hair almost ran right into him.

"Fuck—!"

Renji (to Gin's horror) thrust his sword at Gin's unprotected side. Forgoing Ichigo, Gin faced Renji, knocking the sword away and hitting him with an uppercut. Gin narrowly dodged Ichigo's swipe at his ribs, and jumped, avoiding Grimmjow's kick to knock him off his feet. Without even looking, Gin chopped Renji in the side of the neck and finished by punching him square in the face. _One down…_

Grimmjow growled.

"Yer such an animal." Gin smiled. Taunting dangerous beasts was a hobby of his. "Didn't yer mama ever say it wasn't good manners to snarl like that in public? Oh wait, yer mama's dead, ain't she?"

Blinded by rage, Grimmjow flew at Gin, prepared to sink his knife deep into his pale flesh. Smiling happily, Gin shot the enraged beast. _Two down…_

He turned to Ichigo. "Hmm, I feel like I should be turned in for poaching or something…"

Gin delighted in seeing the kid's face contort in pain and rage. "You… monster!"

"Oh?" Gin raised an eyebrow. "I thought that was supposed to be you three?" He glanced at the two fallen Seireitei. "Ain't you newbs called the Demon Trio er somethin'?"

Ichigo grit his teeth and slowly pulled his gun out.

Gin raised his hands in a placating manner. "Look, I can't be playing here all morning like this with you kiddies. I'm tired, I gotta hangover, and I wanna shower. Ya know how it is."

Ichigo narrowed his eyes. "No, I don't. I don't fuck around like you."

Gin shrugged, feigning an expression of regret. "Well, ya really should learn a good fuck before high school ends. Ya know…" Gin leered. "I bet that Kuchiki bitch**[2]** would be wonderfully warm and tight. Why don't ya give'er a try?"

Gin narrowly dodged the first bullet, but his body jolted as another ripped into his side. It was still considered a graze, but that would need some stitches later. Luckily, however, he was able to escape with just that.

He had to find Rangiku. He had to know if she was okay. Sticking to the alleys and hoping that no one would be stupid enough to fight in such a narrow place, he surveyed the battle field. At first it seemed like he would never find her. But then, he saw a lump of strawberry blonde hair. He didn't even look to see if anyone was around. He ran to her.

A shot rang out next to his head, and his body shuddered with the impact. But he only stopped when he got to Rangiku. He fell to his knees, and, ignoring the stabbing pain in his shoulder, he carefully picked her up. Quickly, he darted back into the shadows.

Every newbie had a mentor, so Gin just had to find hers. Weaving in and out of the narrow streets, he was starting to become weak and dizzy from blood loss. But he had to find that bastard. He had to. Gin pressed on.

And as luck would have it, there he was, with his snowy hair nearly identical to Gin's. He was crouching behind a van; now shooting, now speaking into a cell phone. Hitsugaya wouldn't shoot him. He couldn't—at least not while he had Rangiku in his arms.

Hitsugaya jumped, sensing the approaching presence. But he dropped his gun with wide eyes as Gin rather boldly stepped up to him. He placed Rangiku gently on the ground in beside her mentor, and turned to leave.

"Wait." Gin stopped, and inclined his head to show that he was listening. "What… What is your relationship with her? I've noticed… you treat her differently."

Gin cast a sardonic smile upon Hitsugaya. "What's yers?"

"You obviously know already…" His gaze flickered to Rangiku, his expression full of concern. "I'm her mentor."

"Heh. Well, I'm her ex-boyfriend." Gin stated ruefully. "But we can't talk about that anymore, cuz that's a taboo now. Right?" He too looked at Rangiku's prone body and murmured, more to himself than to the other man, "She's still wearin' the necklace I gave'er fer her last birthday present." Gin smiled at Hitsugaya. "I'm chargin' ya to take care of her. I didn't dump her cuz I wanted to. So if anythin' happens to her, I'll murder ya with my own two hands."

When he was far enough away, he pulled out his cell phone and rung up one of his buddies. These wounds would need to be treated as soon as possible.

* * *

_.x.x.x.x._

* * *

Gin's head lolled forward. The bottle dropped from his hand onto the pavement, shattering with a loud crash. He was almost unconscious, and yet that image still lingered in his mind. Rangiku, her face pale and wan, blood soaking the side of her shirt… She had been telling him to run. Instead, he'd shot up some of her friends. Then how he found her, with all that blood matted in her hair and on her face and—

But if he continued on this train of thought, he'd lose it.

He wondered vaguely what his innocent little vixen—oh, but he couldn't think of her like that anymore because she wasn't _his_—had done so far. Was she still so innocent? Were her hands stained with blood, or could she still wash it off?

He laughed quietly to himself. The only thing that this path in life would ever bring anyone was darkness. Darkness and money. But was money darkness, too? Nah… Not always...

In Gin's mind, the footsteps were echoing… He saw someone… She looked just like Rangiku. She was bending over him, saying something… She smelled so sweet.

"Rangiku…" Gin muttered feebly, twirling a lock of hair around his finger.

Was he going somewhere? He must have been, because he tripped. At least, he thought he did... Everything was sort of just spinning. Oh, it was warm now. The colors were red, and yellow, and gold. Warm colors, and they all mixed together in a blend of happiness. It all went to Gin's lower abdominal area, with happiness. He thought he was getting a little bit cold, but maybe it was his imagination because suddenly he was hot, very hot.

_What strange noises… Is someone there?_

"Where did Rangiku go?"

A voice… but did it really say anything? He felt really, very good. He could have stayed like this forever.

Then it was gone, and there was only the cold and the darkness left.

* * *

_.x.x.x.x._

* * *

When Gin woke up, he couldn't remember what had happened. But it didn't matter. He was in some chick's bed again. Had he stayed out there in the cold like an idiot, he'd be dead by now. Slowly, he got dressed. His entire body throbbed with his hangover. _What time is it?_ It seemed like he played this part all too often now. He left quietly, not even looking at the woman he'd apparently just slept with.

Gin shivered in the cold, struggling to light a cigarette while the snow fell. Somehow, even as the wind blew large snowflakes into his face, he managed.

It was dark, but it wasn't as early as some other mornings that had a similar progression. _No use in goin' back to sleep then… _Overall, Gin felt disgusting. He wanted badly to go home and shower. But he'd stop at McDonald's first for some coffee. He'd heard somewhere that black coffee helped to cure hangovers.

Gin chose to go to a McDonald's close to his apartment. He almost punched something when he heard that song ("Blue Christmas", as he had found out once he looked it up on the internet) playing overhead. It always made him think about Rangiku.

_Wait. This mornin's actually Christmas, ain't it?_

With a hot cup of joe and a freshly lit cigarette, he made his way home. He shoved his keys into the door, and, with some surprise, he found that it was unlocked. _Damn, how careless of me… _He stepped inside with the hope that everything was intact. Nothing looked any different. Gin sighed with relief. _I musta just been that drunk, huh?_

Gin tossed his keys on the table next to his TV and stripped, letting his clothes litter the floor. After killing his cancer stick he stepped into the shower. The hot water pounded on his back, and he breathed in the steam, letting it fill his sinuses. He winced. _Shit, that stings. _He'd been keeping his wounds unwrapped, against the better advice of his friend, Szayel. With that ibuprofen he'd been taking regularly, his bullet wound wasn't hurting as bad as… well, it wasn't as bad when Szayel had dug the bullet out with a scalpel. As a plus, it somewhat helped the hangover, too. It was slow progress recovering from the wounds as well as the hangover, but it was progress nonetheless. The nozzle squeaked as he turned the shower off. He fluffed his hair in the towel, and lazily wiped the rest of his body into a semi-dry state. After tossing the towel over the hanger, he walked out and pulled on a random pair of boxers, followed by sweat pants.

There was a knock at the door. Gin checked the time. It was after 8:00 now. _I guess that's not too early fer someone to show up…_ The person pounded on the door once again, only more insistently.

"Ya know, there's somethin' called patience." Gin pleasantly suggested through the door as he lit up.

He opened the door after taking a puff. The cigarette nearly fell out of his mouth. Rangiku stood there, looking as awkward as possible before Gin finally realized he ought to do something. Stepping out of his apartment, he quickly scanned the area before grabbing her arm and yanking her inside. Running a hand through his damp hair, he removed his cigarette from his lips and exhaled thin ribbons of blue grey smoke into the room. His hand hung loose at his side, pale smoke trickling slowly up to the ceiling.

"Well?" He prompted, giving her a sidelong glance.

Rangiku shifted nervously, looking away. "Toshiro told me what happened… a few nights ago." She looked at him guiltily. "Did you get that because of me?"

She'd seen the wounds. Of course; they were probably the first things her eyes would be drawn to.

Gin shrugged. "It ain't yer business, girly. Besides," Gin gave her his best "stay out of my business" smile. "I bet you've seen worse by now."

Rangiku nodded.

"So…" Gin sat down on his bed, puffing on his cigarette. "Ya do realize that if we're caught in a friendly little situation like this, we're both dead—unless my intention is to fuck you, o'course. Then it would only be Seireitei havin' it out fer me." Gin grinned.

"God! You're such a man whore!" Rangiku finally blew up. "Is that all you do these days? Have sex and get drunk?"

"Obviously not, Ran." Gin waved his cigarette, smiling happily. "I smoke excessively, as well."

"Ugh! What a pig!"

Gin laughed wryly. "Regrettin' it now, ain't ya? Datin' someone like me. But it's fine. I don't blame ya. But…" He peered at her curiously. "I still can't figure out why yer here."

Rangiku shuffled around awkwardly. Gin patted a spot on his bed next to him.

"C'mere. Talk to me." He gave her a soft, genuine smile, trying to make her feel more at ease. "Ya know I can't hurt ya, Ran. Just c'mere 'n talk to me about it. I'll just listen, 'kay?"

Nodding, Rangiku began to walk over, but Gin stopped her. "What're ya doin? Take yer shoes off, woman! Trackin' mud through someone else's home is impolite, ya know."

Rangiku laughed, taking her boots off. She also discarded her coat, gloves and scarf. Sitting down beside Gin, she took a deep breath.

"This is rather presumptuous of me, Gin, but do you have a drink?"

Gin drew in more nicotine, mulling over what he may or may not have stashed away. "What do ya want?"

"What kind of sake do you have?"

Gin shook his head. "I'm not servin' sake to a minor… I mean, yeah, I'm underage too, but yer underage by four years. Ya shouldn't be puttin' that in yer system yet." Gin stood up and walked over to his mini fridge. "How 'bout a Bireley's?"

Rangiku stood up, as though trying to see what he was looking at. "What kind?"

"Well… I got orange, apple, 'n some o' those bottled breakfasts."

"Eww. Those are gross. You drink those?" Rangiku walked over and Gin docilely allowed her to move him aside. After some thought, she chose the orange.

"These are good." She smiled after taking a sip.

Gin stuffed his cigarette in the ash tray and stretched himself out on his bed.

"Really now. Out with it. What do ya want?"

Rangiku pouted. "Gin… You're being so cold."

"Have ya fergotten our circumstances?" He could smack her right now. What was she playing at? She wasn't stupid, but she was sure acting like it.

"No…" she sat down on the edge of the bed with her hands folded in her lap. "I just wanted to thank you for helping me out the other day."

"Ya didn't have to."

"I know… But it was something else that Toshiro told me…"

"Ugh. Did he seriously tell ya everything?"

Gin reached for another cigarette, but Rangiku's hand stopped him. He looked at her. She was wearing her mom look, glaring at him with one raised eye brow, as if to say, "What do you think you're doing?" He sighed and withdrew his hand, settling on drumming his fingers against his leg.

"Look," Gin began calmly. He was going to set her straight about this. "It was somethin' I shouldn't'a done. But I was startin' to bleed out, 'n I was a bit delirious at that point. So it happened. And—"

The rest of his sentence never came out. It took him a second to realize that it was because Rangiku was pressing her lips against his mouth, preventing him from speaking. But when he realized it, he roughly shoved her away.

"What the hell do ya think yer doin'?!" He exclaimed. He was shocked, he had to admit. And nothing ever shocked him.

"Thanking you, and letting you know that my feelings for you haven't changed. You know, that offer still stands. If you ever become tired of everything and simply want to unwind, or want someone to lean on for a bit, you know where to go."

Rangiku stood and headed for the door. She put on her outerwear and smiled at Gin, who still sat bolt upright on his bed, staring at her. He still wasn't sure how to react. He wasn't sure what course to take.

"Well, I'm off, then. Thanks for the soda. I'll consider it your Christmas present to me. Sorry I don't have one for you…" Opening the door, she glanced back at him, just barely concealing regret. "Merry Christmas, Gin." The door clicked shut.

Gin sat there, silently staring at the blank TV in front of him. Those few words she had said had made such an impact on him… He wasn't getting soft, was he? Rangiku had come to see him, and had been concerned about a couple wounds he'd received from _her side_.

Then it hit him like a semi on the Autobahn. _She's… She's still in love with me? _Gin leapt off the bed and tore his door open. _Where did she go? Where…? _He ran across the snow covered ground in bare feet, heedless of the freezing cold. He had to reach her. She still had to be around here somewhere. She couldn't have gotten on a train, not yet. She couldn't have made it there yet. Skidding around a corner he almost ran into someone.

"Ah!—'Scuse me—"

The woman turned around and Gin found himself staring into astonishingly deep, chocolate eyes.

"Gin—!"

He pulled her into a deep, desperate kiss before she could say more. He felt as though he were a starving man presented with a feast. Gin held her tightly, frantically running his hands through her hair and over the curves of her body. It wasn't sexual in the slightest. It was desperate; Gin had to make sure, he had to be sure it was really_ her_ and she she was really _there. _They broke apart finally, gasping for air. Rangiku was the first to regain her composure, stopping Gin when he tried to come back for more.

"Have ya fergotten our circumstances?" she asked sarcastically, deepening her voice and smirking at Gin.

Gin snarled at her. "I don't give a fuck right now! Let 'em see us, Ran! Let 'em all know I'm throwin' 'em off my back for good, as far as this kinda shit goes, anyway. I don't care anymore, Rangiku! I—"

Rangiku pressed a finger to Gin's lips, cutting off his speech. "Damn! Calm those freezing tits, Gin! It's snowing, there's ice on the ground, and you're not wearing shoes—or even a shirt! Come on; let's go back to your place, okay? We'll talk things over there. I know you didn't mean any of that. So let's talk..."

* * *

_.x.x.x.x._

* * *

"Ugh… Ran… That's enough…" Gin struggled to keep his voice level as Rangiku's tongue stroked his throbbing member. "You… You don't have to—force yerself—"

Rangiku glanced up at him with a sultry gaze. Just that image—_his_ woman looking at him with such a sexy expression, licking his cock like it was candy—that alone was enough to make him come. He had to force himself to look away.

"Do I _look_ like I'm forcing myself, Gin?" She slowly rubbed his erection. "What's with the shy guy act? We've done this before, and I _know_ you've been quite sexually active since we broke up." Her tone was beginning to take on an accusatory tone. Gin didn't like where this was going.

"Ran… later, please."

She huffed, and, surprising Gin, took all of him into her mouth. He shuddered. She was so warm and—_Oh God—_the way she stared at him like that as her head bobbed up and down was going to be the end of him.

"Ran…" he threaded his fingers tightly through her thick hair, urging her to go faster. "Ran—I'm gonna—!"

He bucked his hips, earning a small whimper of protest from Rangiku. He shivered, losing himself in the waves of his orgasm.

"Gin?" Rangiku stood up, and bent over him, gently stroking his cheek. "I need a shower now…"

"Hmm?" He grabbed her and tossed her on the bed with him, so that he was half way on top of her. Nose to nose with her, he said, "Yeah, I guess ya do needa shower. But so do I." He nestled his face in her hair. "I wanna shower with ya."

"Gin…"

"I won't do anythin'. Right now, I just…" he gathered her up in his arms, holding her tightly.

Rangiku pet his head and just let him be there. He was glad. But it was only for a moment. The small amount of cum that had managed to get on Rangiku's face and hair was drying. Gin got up and pulled Rangiku up with him. She took off her clothes as she walked toward the bathroom. They had seen each other naked plenty of times. But neither of them had ever initiated actual intercourse. When Rangiku went to remove her necklace, Gin stopped her, putting his arms around her neck and unclasping it himself.

"Why?" he asked.

Rangiku shrugged. "I love you, I guess."

Gin poked her belly button. "There is no guessin' in that stuff, stupid girl." He grinned at her.

"Okay! I love you. That's why. And honestly I wanted to tell every guy who asked me out that this was a gift from my new boyfriend. You know, the invisible one I got the second you dumped me."

Gin nodded sagely, but he was burning with jealousy on the inside. He couldn't do anything about the guys asking her out. As far as other people were concerned, they were on opposite sides of a war. He turned the shower on, waiting for it to warm up.

"This temperature good fer ya?"

Rangiku checked it and nodded. Gin stepped in first and offered his hand to Rangiku with a slight bow. It made her laugh, and that made him happy.

"Here, let me wash yer hair." He muttered. "Hand me the shampoo."

Rangiku laughed. "I just realized that I'll smell like a guy after this!"

Gin turned the water off. "Well, to me that's a good thing." He grumbled. After muttering, "Close yer eyes." he made himself clear. "I mean, maybe this way, fer at least a day er two, other men'll keep away from ya..."

His long, nimble fingers worked and massaged her scalp down to the ends of her thick hair. Before turning the water on again, he stepped out.

"Stay there. Hold on a sec."

Gin came back with a hair product that he had never used before. "I bought this by mistake one time." He said. "It'll make yer hair all soft and shiny and easy to brush out. I'm not claimin' to know much about hair, but I know my shampoo doesn't do anythin' a woman would be happy with."

"Really?" Rangiku smirked. "I think your hair is quite soft. Though, it's so pale that I can't tell if it's shiny or not…"

Gin responded by pinching her bottom while he was bent over to turn the water on. His fingers ran through her thick hair until all traces of suds were gone. Turning off the water again, he gently squeezed Rangiku's long hair, and then flounced it out a bit before squeezing it again. He proceeded to squirt some of the hair product onto his hand and ran it through Rangiku's hair, concentrating on the areas away from the scalp. It felt oily. Gin wasn't sure how he felt about this.

"Oh, I know why you got this!" Rangiku suddenly exclaimed.

Gin squirted shampoo onto his hand, scrubbing his own hair. "Okay. Enlighten me."

"You confused conditioner for shampoo. Even men's brands sell conditioner, and to the speed shopper, the bottles often look the same, so it makes total sense!"

Gin rolled his eyes as he began scrubbing his body with a bar of soap. Rangiku looked at him, and then the bar of soap. It went on until he finally said,

"Look, there is liquid soap and a rag right there. The rag hasn't even been used. Why don't you wash with that?"

A blush lit up Rangiku's face as she apparently came out of some sort of day dream. "Oh, uh, okay! Thanks."

After they were both done scrubbing, Gin turned the water back on. _This conditioner stuff is a bitch to rinse out…_ He slid his hands through Rangiku's hair, but his eyes were closed, because the shampoo in his hair was running down his face. Finally, instead of his fingers just slipping through her hair, he felt a distinct feeling of resistance. It felt like his fingers were skidding now, rather than sliding. So, considering her hair rinsed and clean, he wrapped his arms around her waist.

Resting his chin on her shoulder, he sighed. "I want ya to be able to tell other men who really gave ya that necklace." He whispered.

"Gin," Rangiku tried to turn around. "You know—"

"Yeah. I do know." He gently grabbed her chin and turned her upper body so he could kiss her.

For him, it was gentle, and maybe somewhat passionate. But for Rangiku, it was also a turn on. She was already obviously turned on by his nakedness and close proximity, but seeing his wet body probably made her lose her self-control just a bit.

"Rangiku, we shouldn't do anythin' else…" Gin warned.

He went to turn the water off, trying to ignore Rangiku's pout. After Gin dried off, he stepped out and threw her another towel.

"Here."

She mumbled a thanks, quickly drying off her own body. Gin had to admit, he didn't blame Rangiku for wanting to lose her self-control. If he was certain he wouldn't hate himself later for it, he'd take her right now, bending her over the sink and—

But he wasn't going to do that so why was he thinking about it? _Hmm. Let's think about dinner tonight. Actually, I wonder if I even have any food right now…_

After putting her undergarments on, Rangiku made to put her shirt on.

"Wait. Let me put that in the wash. Actually, I should wash all yer clothes. They're gross, ya know?" Gin sneered. "But, ya can wear mine in the meantime."

"Oh, okay. Thanks."

Gin glanced at Rangiku after he started his washing machine. _Damn. I don't think any of my t-shirts are big enough for her…_ He went into his closet and rummaged around a bit. Finally, he pulled out a white button up dress shirt.

"I think this should fit ya. I'm not sure though; ya got such giant boobs 'n all."

Rangiku glared at him. "I never see you complaining."

"No, no, not at all."

She buttoned the shirt up as much as she could and sat down on the side of the bed. Gin tossed her a water bottle and took one for himself as well. Once he was relaxed on his bed, he lit up.

"Gin," she protested. "You don't usually smoke this much…"

He shrugged. "Well, now I do."

They sat there in silence for a while, with Gin puffing on his cigarette. Finally, he decided to start the dreaded conversation.

"Look, if we're gonna continue this, we needa know where we stand with each other."

"Why have you had sex with all of these women… but you refuse to do so with me?"

_Well… this was unexpected._

"Uh, well… It's just expected of me, Rangiku. Ask yer guy friends… Unless they're in a relationship, they're expected to be goin' out to parties and doin' kinky shit with girls. Well I mean, even if they're taken they have to go to parties... But if they don't do this stuff when they're single, it's assumed they're either prudish or gay. Fer the former, they get raped, 'n fer the latter, they get killed."

"But why not me, Gin? I'm not begging for it or anything, but… you're always pushing me away. Am I not good enough or something?"

"No… No Ran… That's just it, actually. Yer too good. I treasure you too much... I wanna wait longer, until yer not a kid anymore. Now don't yell at me, I'm not saying I think yer a kid! Hell, I'm barely two years older'n ya, 'n we go to the same high school. So I can't be callin' ya a kid, right? It's just… never mind. It's stupid." Gin had probably never felt so foolish in his life. He never imagined that he would be having some of his innermost thoughts forced out of him like this. He coughed awkwardly. "Anyway, like I said, we needa learn where we stand with each other in our current situation."

"You're not suggesting that you're not sure how you feel about me…"

Before she could say more, Gin cut her off. "Look, we know how we feel about each other, 'kay? But we also know that it's not allowed by either of our bosses. I mean, Hitsugaya didn't tell ya what happened so that ya could run over here 'n gimme head!"

Rangiku nodded, her cheeks stained with a light blush. Gin sighed and pulled her to him, so that she rested between his legs with her back to him.

"Listen, Ran," he said, gently running his fingers through her hair. "We can't be doin' this again. There ain't gonna be any second chances if we fuck up. So… we'll have to arrange a system where we can inconspicuously see each other like this from time to time."

She nodded. "Yeah. I already know of a few places that we can meet… They're a bit out of the way, but that's a good thing, right?"

"Yeah. Also… because, according to the guys, I'm not officially goin' steady with anyone, I'm gonna have to go out with them 'n party sometimes. I'm gonna try not to get into situations where I have to do something sexual with another woman, but wouldn't it be weird if a single guy just refused to do that?"

Rangiku didn't say anything. He almost wished she would cry. He knew she was desperately holding back tears. But she wouldn't cry in front of him, and honestly he was glad. He wouldn't have been able to take it. He held her tighter in an effort to diffuse some of the pain she felt.

"Yer not bein' forced into this, ya know…"

"I know. But this is what comes with being on different sides of the street, huh?" She wiggled around in his arms and, throwing her arms around his neck, she kissed him.

"I love you."

* * *

_.x.x.x.x._

* * *

They stood at the door of Gin's apartment, but Gin wasn't looking at Rangiku. He was already attempting to detach himself from her. After all, the next time he saw her could possibly be on the street, and not in a very friendly way, either.

"Well, I guess this is it." Rangiku said.

Gin shrugged casually. "Mhmm. I guess so." He exhaled a long ribbon of smoke. "Yer daddy's gonna want ya back about now, anyway."

"Yeah… for dinner."

"Ya get to see yer brother."

"Yeah." Rangiku smiled.

Gin patted her head. "Run on home, 'kay? Be careful that strange lookin' people don't see ya on yer way out."

She rolled her eyes. "I know."

"… I probably won't see ya fer a while."

"Okay! Geez, Gin. You really do treat me like a kid."

"Nah." Gin leaned against the wall, wishing she'd hurry the hell up and leave. The longer she stayed, the more he'd want her to stay. "I'm just remindin' ya to be careful is all. It's gettin' dark out, 'n this ain't a great neighborhood."

Rangiku shrugged, smiling cheerfully. "You obviously have no confidence in me." She swooped in close to him, making Gin jump with the suddenness of the action and her speed, but he calmed when her lips gently met his. But then, she roughly grabbed his collar, dragging him eye level to her. "I've been trained in combat ever since I was little. Surely, you know that Seireitei, being a well-known and very old yakuza, not only takes over small time gangs but practically breeds children for gang membership as well? My family, Renji's family, Toshiro's family, and hell, even Ichigo's family have been training their children for generations for the express purpose of being useful in the yakuza. I am not the defenseless little girl that you think I am, Gin. Do you remember back when you were threatening me while you were trying to break up with me? Ha! I was actually insulted that you turned your back to me—an enemy! You didn't consider me a threat, obviously. But when you had your back turned, I could have killed you. Forget our feelings, Gin, you're lucky that I have more honor than that! The swordsman's disgrace is a scar on the back. Give me a little more credit, Ichimaru Gin."

Honestly, it all made sense to Gin. And really, he felt like shit. He'd have to alter his image of this sweet little girl that he'd known since before primary school. She wasn't a little girl anymore, obviously. She was a woman now, according to the yakuza. She was a woman, and a fighter. He'd seen her changing, but he never gave her the credit. She knew it, but never said anything and let him fawn over her like she was a porcelain doll. He sighed and shook his head.

"Ya got it, Ran." He smirked. "I'm sorry. Really, yer right. But as we're standin' here discussin' the meanin' of life, it's gettin' darker, 'n yer Christmas dinner's probably on the table by now. So ya might wanna scoot now."

"Oh!" Rangiku looked at the time, wide eyed. "You're right! I have to go!" She gave Gin a tight hug and ran out the door. "Bye! I'll see you later, okay?"

Gin laughed quietly. _So much fer not lettin' others see her as she leaves…_

Closing the door and locking it, he pulled out one of those bottled meals he had in his mini fridge and turned on the TV. Climbing onto his bed and lighting another cigarette, he suddenly felt very lonely. He wondered what it felt like to spend the holidays with someone… Just a normal Christmas, with a dinner, and parents, and maybe a dog, and no fear of being called out on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day to carry out an—

_Well speak of the devil_. Gin picked up his vibrating phone.

"Yeah?"

_-"Who do I have the pleasure of speaking to?"-_

"Well you called, asshole. You should know."

_-"Ichimaru Gin, is that any way to be speaking to a stranger? Especially when the stranger on the phone turns out to be someone above you?"_

"Wait—what?!"

_-"Make your way over to Kagawa Prefecture. Call Halibel for more information once you get there."- _**Click.**

Gin stared at his phone, wide-eyed. Suddenly, the voice he heard over the phone clicked with one he often heard in person.

_That… was Aizen!_

Scrambling around for some decent clothing, he raced out of his apartment carrying his coat and barley managing to lock the door. Dinner was forgotten, as was Rangiku. He had his sword on his back, a switch blade in his pocket, and four guns lining his coat.

Fuck "Blue Christmas". Elvis could keep it. Gin foresaw a red one.

_I wonder if my hair'll ever turn permanently red, _he wondered absentmindedly. The sky was black, and the train station was almost empty. Snow blew in behind Gin as he trotted down the stairs. He stood there, attempting to keep warm while waiting for the train. Some of the lights overhead were blinking. It looked like there might be a power outage soon. The man in the ticket booth had a radio turned on, most likely to remain updated on the weather. It seemed like it might be getting worse. Gin scooted closer to catch some of what was being said. But all he heard was the scratchy voice of Elvis, going in and out with the signal.

_"And when those blue snowflakes start falling, that's when those blue memories start calling. You'll be doin' alright with your Christmas of white. But I'll have a blue, blue blue blue Christmas."_

* * *

**_A/N:_**

**_1) Suffering Bastard: _an alcoholic drink containing spiced, gin, sour mix, blue curacao, cherry brandy, vodka, tequila and orange juice. Honestly, I picked this cuz I thought the name was hilariously ironic. XD**

**_2) that Kuchiki bitch: _To clear up any confusion this may cause, I'm referring to Rukia here, not Byakuya.**

* * *

(edited 14 June, 2013) I finally went over and edited this again! XD I also put some various warnings and things that I felt were needed... Tell me what you think of my new and improved _Blue Christmas_! :D

* * *

**READ AND REVIEW!**


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